Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
