OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
