As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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