i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
