u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
