I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
