Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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