he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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