Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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