It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
