All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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