Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You're like the curious george of whores
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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