Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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