i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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