I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
