Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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