Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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