i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
