With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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