Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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