Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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