So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
