No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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