Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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