I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
