You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
