I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
