i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
