I will die if light touches me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
