He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that