Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.