He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
