He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
