i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
