the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
