How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
