dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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