Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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