just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
