Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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