dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
