Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize