Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
