If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
