hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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