I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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