Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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