dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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