i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
