Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
