You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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