WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
