Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
