Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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