You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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