I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
