I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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