very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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